This poem was inspired by Taylor Swift’s story telling. It is about the integration of my personal and professional identity when I was training to become a psychotherapist. It was presented at the University of Staffordshire’s research conference in 2024. It was presented alongside this patch (patchwork of practice).

I’m inspired to tell my story using a Taylor Swift parody
A butcher’s daughter who got into psychotherapy
Lost a kid in the divorce, fell from grace socially
A friend suggested accessing talking therapy.

Reflexively I sometimes like to think in 3D
I draw buildings to explore the different parts of me
To share the story of the counsellor that I want to be
Using the metaphor of a butcher’s shop in Derby’s Pear Tree
Who I was, who I am and a future me

At five years old I was scared of it and didn’t want to be there
But I learnt to be compliant, to work hard, hide despair
Lessons in “do as you are told”, “I don’t care how you feel”
Made me hide my authenticity and become less real.
Let’s make real, and reveal what was concealed.

Was this also my parents experience of being at the shop?
When your Dads’ work bears his name “and son” on top
When your cousins go to uni and you are left to slaughter animals
Attachment to a tyrant is problematical
Read Bowlby, attachment theory, on pathology
The window display, a façade for passers by
Masked the tension and trouble that laid in side
Does it reflect a presenting issue or things a therapist has seen
Or a metaphor for therapy moving to an online screen
Hopes and screams, broken dreams, feeling demeaned
When life seems hopeless and dark, it’s difficult to think
So I’m supporting those in addiction, LGBT and kink
On placement seeing clients from marginalised communities
Attachment, person centred, transference, narrative trees
‘Cause society expects us to conform like sausages in a link
UV butchers lights making them normatively pink
Don’t discriminate, judge or hate. Advocate.
Life’s traumatic abattoir scene, can you bear it all?
Lifeless carcasses of beef hanging, blood splattered on walls
Had your heart and guts ripped out by relationships gone bad
Can’t eat, can’t sleep, just crying, maybe think you’re going mad

Customer and shopkeeper like the therapeutic alliance
Know what you want or are you looking for guidance?
Ethical sales 101 treat customers with respect.
By selling quality products and services, you’ll protect.
Put customers at the heart of everything you do
Or like the BACP the Trading standards and food hygiene will be on to you.
PG Dip, core 10 script, Coopers C-Nip

A change in socio-economic demographics, foot-fall and traffic
Plant-based alternatives preferred according to ethnographics
My parents looked towards retirement, getting old
Things change, I went to uni and the shop was sold
Robbers in fights, animal rights, halal delights.
Somatic, phenomenological experiencing from that shop at my core
Expectations, beliefs, Christmas, everyone who ever walked through the door
So my past is in my presence with each client that I see
The journey that I’ve been on helps me offer empathy
Highs and lows, body blows, secrets known.

And you and me, we have different attachment history
Empathy, we will see the world differently
But if you talk to me, confidentially
Then, all is well