This poem is a snapshot of what happened when my long term relationship was opened up. It’s about threesomes, relationships, sex, and curiosity and it asks: does taking this risk mean loss, freedom, or both?

Push and pull
Wax and wane
Marry divorce and start again
Rejected, dejected, misdirected
My sex life needed to be resurrected
A need to be needed, devoured, respected

Stepped into a new phase of my sexual life Identity shift from mother and wife
Not crying,resentful and alone
I found a hot colleague I wanted to bone
Turned him into a leather-man clone
Hypamasculine fantasy for me to own.

And time rolls by…

Playful holidays at cruising spots
I’m bisexual but somewhere I’d forgot
I Sometimes find women hot
And I Wondered could I say or not?
Knowing that in relationships it’s a lot
To be curious for more than what you’ve got.

And time rolls by…

We knew it would be difficult to find
Someone conveniently located with a beautiful mind
A body on which we’d like to grind
Great tits and spankable behind
Who wouldn’t leave our relationship undermined
Who’d fit in with us gentle loving and kind

And time rolls by and I ask you…

Are we really doing this ?
open our ten year relationship to another woman’s kiss?
Unleash a transcendental sexual bliss
something we didn’t think we’d have, let alone miss.
A mythical unicorn as a mistress.

Sharing saucy photos on our mobile phones
Surrender into a three-way tantric pleasure dome
Sex no longer always on our own
As neighbours turn a deaf ear to our ecstatic moans.
And more than just your mind gets blown!

Then shock, then fears when I realise how beautiful you look together out on the town!
Self-worth, self-doubt, will you still want me around?

Will I be replaced, discarded, rejected, disgraced?
Have I thrown our relationship out with the waste?
No! No. No need to repent
This decision was made in leisure not In haste
Freedom, curiosity for another woman’s taste

His top 20 emojis changed in the first few weeks
To hearts, fires, tongues and aubergines,
Suddenly he is suntanned and lean.
And His house has never been so clean.
Throwing together M&S buffets that are fit for a queen
Looking the happiest he’s ever been.

And time rolls by…

Given up trying to be tres discrete
Garden speakers blaring out Danish discotheque erotique
He’s so enthralled that he can no longer speak
Luxuriating in our breathe, hypnotic Mystique
On his knees wanking tres Frantique

I’m sober. She drinks wine.
Her pendulous breasts so different to mine.
Spank her pert buttocks, divine.
pearl necklaces supplied by Swine
Visions in my mind. Repeat. Rewind.

And time rolls by…

When it slips out this morning you were in the garden
Sending her photos of your enormous hard on
I’ll toy with your sensitivity and fake a mard on
And you’ll send one to me later and you’ll be pardoned
Bet she’ll add one of herself to both of us as part of the bargain.

The first time you went down on her kept coming to mind
Jealous unnerved, but perhaps I was blind, to the joy in it for all of us.
More joy. More opportunities for us all to explore.
all of us at one time or another down on all fours.
Suddenly I came into my own.
I enjoyed. I explored. Realising it’s not about points that are scored.

To see him against her. Boundaries set.
Are all our sexual needs being met?
Boundaries, goalposts, shifting sands.
Six hands on his cock and our mamory glands,
Like something you’d only see on only fans.

Out on the town. He sits with me, then her. He picks up my clothes to dress her, and I feel the ground underneath me shift and move and lurch.
Again, I’m losing him, and I say, and he’s sorry, he repairs.
and it’s wonderful, and I feel seen.
He didn’t mean
to undermine me, to disparage me,
to eviscerate our experience or my identity.

He’s talking about Lady Gaga’s sexx dreams,
I’m thinking what it meant to me and what it still means.
The power, the sexy, the sexual.
Sharing with her, the repurposing of our story like Elton’s candle in the wind.
Everything that it meant to us he rescinds.

or

Is it just a story shared?
He’s bringing her up to speed.
All the TV we’ve watched, the books we read.
The sexual energy on which we feed. Leading us to the life of our dreams.

Go for a date, her car parked in my cars space.
Gut wrench! Have I been replaced?
Then I see her shining face.
Welcoming, happy in his warm embrace.
All of us smiling our happiest grins
More Comfortable than ever in our own skins

And time rolls by and I ask…

Are we doing this? Does it fulfil a need?
Are we doing this? Yes, Yes, Yes please!
we are really doing this.
All Three agreed.

I’ll put you on a cross.
I will put you on a lead.
Bite you but not make you bleed.
Send you to Marks’ and Spencer’s for the gooey cheese,
Worship me like a goddess on your knees.
The TLDR, happy I dare to take the risk
To taste this woman’s kiss.

And time rolls by…