Lynne Jones – May 2024

A song about a menopausal badass inspired by Taylor Swift and Florence and the machines song Florida.

First it’s the night heat, brain fog and mood swings too.
My energy depletes.
Was that the same for you?
And my joints all ache, am I now just an old lady?
I divorced that guy cos he just drove me crazy.  

Little did I know that your life gets hit by a raging hormonal freight train
Pounds pile on, pussy’s dry, and your sex life is waning. 

Menopause, one hell of a drag
Menopause, least I’m not on the rag

The weight gain when it came, oh the shame
So depressed I just wished to be taken away
And life goes on and your expected to be fine,
Mental health red alert, shit show of a time

And I’m angry but I am coming alive!
All my wisdom and power and my curious mind
So, your cheating husbands disappeared, well
I’ve found a new place in a club that’s queer.

And I did what I could to get out of the mud
Get the best out of life with no monthly blood
And in my mind I rise out from the ash
And took half of his pension in cash.

Don’t want to forget, so take me to the pharmacy
I’ve got some regrets, HRT could be the remedy
What a bitch what a witch
Fuck me up menopause. 

HRT’s one hell of a drug, one hell of a drug

Don’t want to get fat, hit the gym and do some cardio
Stop Vaginal atrophy, ride my boyfriend like a rodeo
What the fuck, electric shock?
Fuck me up menopause. 

HRT’s One hell of a drug, one hell of a drug

Gonna lube you, up.