Lynne Jones – Januaey 2025

This poem looks at my life story including aspects relating to my gender history and marginalising experiences 

Other
 
Delivered by Dad on a newspapered bed 
“Another split-arsed variety!” first thing that he said. 
I am sure there would have been an expression of joy 
If only his fourth daughter had been born a boy! 

My sisters in photos as Pontyn’s beauty queens. 
“I must be ugly” haunted my waking dreams. 
Took years for me to realise I didn’t even compete 
I was only a baby, not yet on my feet. 

Thinking about the rules set out for me 
“Don’t bring shame on the family” 
“Do as I say, not as I do!” 
Dad, I was scared of you. 

Playing army in my street with Paul and Paul 
Dressed as a solider I felt ten feet tall! 
From a house full of women, I was one of the lads, 
Companions, friends, allies, Comrades.  

Flirting with a newsreader from the local TV, 
Started to notice a power in me. 
The State Police on the Two Ronnies Show, 
Sowed a seed that Leather was the way to go. 

One day there was a tank at school. 
Bet KB still does not know how cruel 
“You’ve got a moustache!” feels when it is said, 
To an adolescent girl – she would rather be dead. 

SS talked about my tiny tits as if I was meat. 
Stressed.  To stop him, slapped him in the street. 
He tried it again and called me “Mohammed Ali!” 
Shut him up by leaving his face bloody. 

Sibling rivalry is a true and terrible curse 
Getting my fat sisters hand me downs was worse. 
Instinctively I rejected the clothes passed to me. 
Dress up flagged power and identity. 

What did they see when they looked at me? 
What did they think they would allow me to be? 
I confidently and euphemistically wore comfortable shoes. 
I was LGBT all the time if you follow the clues. 

Cos women’s shoes are stupid. FACT! 
Not interested in conforming to that gender trap. 
Angry how gender has diminished me. 
The silenced, shamed, objectified “she”. 

Aspiring for liberation from the patriarchy 
With poems about marginality. 

Reflections:

Lots of references to gender and gender discrimination and bullying and sexual bullying.  I tacitly knew this.  I think this is why I had such a strong reaction to the Executive Order saying it was defending women from gender ideology, because deep down I knew I had not been defended in any way. 

I mentioned being safe as one of the boys and enjoying masculine environments.  I reordered the verses tory was chronological.  Boys were safe for me and then they weren’t. 

Reflexivity: 

Follow this poems timeline and create a poem for your story.  Start with the story of your birth as you understand it, experiences in your family, expectations, rules, people and events.  Share with others on your table. 

“By Identifying our own personal pain around being ostracised, we become more conscious and sensitive to others around us, and more aware of how we collude in creating and perpetuating the othering process.” (Shahbaz & Chirinos, 2017).