Lynne Jones – November 2024

This poem is the entry point into my research.  It highlights blind spots and assumptions I had made about people in kink spaces; best practice related to TGD people and psychotherapy and made me curious to understand more deeply. 

The Naked Truth

In a pup mask, you’re standing at the bar 
In a harness, no need for a bra 
Wondering “what’s your story, so far”? 
I’m curious to know who you really are. 
 
A blind spot, I thought it was just me 
Out on the town with gender incongruency 
Blinded by heteronormativity 
To view life from a gender binary. 
 
Handler and pup – an emerging Dom/Sub look. 
At a Kink club social, do you play or fuck? 
In the community, yet my eyes wide shut 
In a room, with gender neutral pups. 
 
Want to understand the story of your life 
Who did you have to talk to before going under the knife? 
How did that counsellor make you feel? 
Were your concerns unconditionally accepted as real? 
 
Got it so wrong, took so long to catch up 
As an LGBT Champion, don’t want to screw up 
Want to support and affirm your authenticity 
Embrace this playful side of your identity. 
 
What do I need to know so you can talk to me? 
The naked truth. Validity. 

Reflections: 

I wrote the poem with “have” as a modal verb indicating obligation (to see a therapist), like must, however, I note that this was read by some as an auxiliary or helping verb as in “who was there to support you?” and I like this more. I had assumed it was an imperative to see a psychotherapist before transitions, and this is not the case, indeed Colman et al (2022) highlights not everyone needs therapy, and some might find accessing it difficult. 
The title “The naked truth” was intended to challenge “biological truths” of gender, however, may be experienced as triggering for TGD audiences following feedback form the LGBT Foundation about the poem Executive Order, which isn’t my intention so might be changed. 

When I wrote this poem I had not heard of cisgenderism and think this poem could be discussed in relation to several frameworks of normativity. 

Feedback:

from a kinky, neurodivergent stranger involved in numerous kink communities, including the pup community (June 2025).    

“I think it is really powerful.  The reference to the surgery.  What motivated that?  Often gender neutral is more mental than physical as they wish to present.  Some do want to nullify or become androgynous.  So, who are you writing this for?  But I love it.  There’s a lovely rhythm to it.  On a side note, the pup scene is also quite tribal in some respects.  I genuinely was very pleased to have met you all.  Faith in humanity is restored!  Hope I wasn’t too intense.”