Ralph Pisgkin – June 2025

I’ve never been comfortable with labels. Nor stereotypes, I’ve never felt like I fitted in, not in polite society anyway. Recently I had to put together a biography and this is what I came up with. Still not sure to be honest, but I know what I’m not at least.

Most of my creative work is dedicated to my unconditional possible girl. However, this poem is dedicated to my friend Jon S, the last great Mr Leather UK. He enabled L and I to come onto the LGBT leather scene in the UK, and has been nothing but welcoming and kind to us ever since. He does so much work for the community and I’m very pleased and happy to know him. He is Mr FILF!.

You’re a fucking what?

So what is a hetqueer anyway?
I’m not straight, not bi and I don’t identify as gay
Ask my girlfriends about how we all play
Its not vanilla, more 50 shades of grey (but without the meanness)

The heteronormative world is a dangerous place
For those of us branded a social disgrace
So I head to canal street to find my safe space
And hang out with leathermen, pups and sneaker boy lace

When I was young I was taunted as gay
I’m not – but the gays I know don’t care how we play
They invited us in and welcomed us to stay
Strong community, Friendship, Inclusion, Love and Fun (FILF) is the LGBT way!

Once years ago she said ‘I want that one’ pointing to a man in full leather attire
Tom of Finland is the look that she really desired
I became her Tom project for other men to admire
And now when we’re out we set the world on fire

We met a man in a gay bar in Soho the other night
He asked ‘how do you keep them both satisfied?’
I looked at him blankly before I slowly replied
It’s about communication, openness, freedom, being loving and kind

Plus they’re both smart, funny, clever and really into each other
So I’ll carefully mansplain this to you, brother
Your patriarchal view will most likely just smother
Because they’re sexual goddesses beyond the role of Mother

These tantrikas enchant and lovingly dominate me
We connect in this and it helps us be free
They unlock the person I always wanted to be

And by accessing the energy and joy in this creativity
I truly reject heteronormativity.